LOW SELF ESTEEM - The Number One Characteristic of Bullying

I was recently asked what the most common characteristic is between a bully and his or her victim and immediately low self-esteem is what came to mind.

A bully would not be a bully if not for low self-esteem. When someone truly believes in them self, who they are, and understands their own strengths and weaknesses, they have no need to put others down to build them self up. After all, that's what bullying is. Picking on a target considered weaker and taking the time and effort to tear that person down repeatedly in order to make them self feel better about their own insecurities.

A victim, on the other hand, could not be a victim if not for low self-esteem. If the victim truly believed in his/her own unique specialness and stayed focused on his/her own goals, then no bully would be able to bring that person down no matter how hard they tried. Therefore, that person could not be "victimized" and the bully would eventually move on to an easier target.

The difference between the victim and the bully is that a bully always starts out with low self-esteem. The victim may start out with a healthy self-esteem, but after being the target of a bully repeatedly, the victim will start to suffer from low self-esteem because he/she starts to be affected by the words and or physical abuse of the bully and become scared, withdrawn, or other symptoms characteristic of a victim. It takes a very strong person not to be affected by a bully, but a strong, healthy self-esteem is the best prevention.