Don't ever let them steal your dreams. Believe in yourself, stay focused on your goals, keep dreaming, and even though a bully may try to target you, that bully will never be able to make a victim out of you!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
LOW SELF ESTEEM - The Number One Characteristic of Bullying
I was recently asked what the most common characteristic is between a bully and his or her victim and immediately low self-esteem is what came to mind.
A bully would not be a bully if not for low self-esteem. When someone truly believes in them self, who they are, and understands their own strengths and weaknesses, they have no need to put others down to build them self up. After all, that's what bullying is. Picking on a target considered weaker and taking the time and effort to tear that person down repeatedly in order to make them self feel better about their own insecurities.
A victim, on the other hand, could not be a victim if not for low self-esteem. If the victim truly believed in his/her own unique specialness and stayed focused on his/her own goals, then no bully would be able to bring that person down no matter how hard they tried. Therefore, that person could not be "victimized" and the bully would eventually move on to an easier target.
The difference between the victim and the bully is that a bully always starts out with low self-esteem. The victim may start out with a healthy self-esteem, but after being the target of a bully repeatedly, the victim will start to suffer from low self-esteem because he/she starts to be affected by the words and or physical abuse of the bully and become scared, withdrawn, or other symptoms characteristic of a victim. It takes a very strong person not to be affected by a bully, but a strong, healthy self-esteem is the best prevention.
A bully would not be a bully if not for low self-esteem. When someone truly believes in them self, who they are, and understands their own strengths and weaknesses, they have no need to put others down to build them self up. After all, that's what bullying is. Picking on a target considered weaker and taking the time and effort to tear that person down repeatedly in order to make them self feel better about their own insecurities.
A victim, on the other hand, could not be a victim if not for low self-esteem. If the victim truly believed in his/her own unique specialness and stayed focused on his/her own goals, then no bully would be able to bring that person down no matter how hard they tried. Therefore, that person could not be "victimized" and the bully would eventually move on to an easier target.
The difference between the victim and the bully is that a bully always starts out with low self-esteem. The victim may start out with a healthy self-esteem, but after being the target of a bully repeatedly, the victim will start to suffer from low self-esteem because he/she starts to be affected by the words and or physical abuse of the bully and become scared, withdrawn, or other symptoms characteristic of a victim. It takes a very strong person not to be affected by a bully, but a strong, healthy self-esteem is the best prevention.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Gangs vs. Bullies- Differences and Similarities
More child on child violence resulting in death with headlines reading Children Killing Children. Most recently reported on has has been the increase of it in Chicago. Okay, this is gang related violence and I am more interested in discussing bullying and its affects...so then, what is the difference between gangs and bullies?
Similarities:
1. Low Self-Esteem. Gang leaders and members suffer from low self-esteem just as bullies suffer from low self-esteem.
2. Imbalance of Power. In this case, you can say that there is bullying within the gang itself. Gang leaders force members to commit specific crimes and the members themselves can suffer greatly if they don't. Bullies always choose a victim that they can hold power over.
3. Group of people against another group or person. Gangs are always made up of groups. Many children join them just for that reason; they are looking for a sense of belonging or family and finding it in the wrong place. Sometimes bullies appear to be powerful and attract others who join in with them to feel they are part of a strong group as well.
Differences:
1. Victims. The victim of a bully is picked on verbally and or physically over and over again. The victim is constantly tormented often for no other purpose than the bully needs to feel his/her power over another who is weaker. The victim of a gang may be "bullied"in this way, but more often the purpose of this bullying (if it is constant) is to intimidate to stay away from territory, pay money, or some other criminal purpose. Many times the victim isn't even bullied at all. The victim could be a randomly selected person chosen to be killed or beaten in retaliation for something else against the gang, or the victim could be a completely unrelated innocent person "caught in the crossfire".
Similarities:
1. Low Self-Esteem. Gang leaders and members suffer from low self-esteem just as bullies suffer from low self-esteem.
2. Imbalance of Power. In this case, you can say that there is bullying within the gang itself. Gang leaders force members to commit specific crimes and the members themselves can suffer greatly if they don't. Bullies always choose a victim that they can hold power over.
3. Group of people against another group or person. Gangs are always made up of groups. Many children join them just for that reason; they are looking for a sense of belonging or family and finding it in the wrong place. Sometimes bullies appear to be powerful and attract others who join in with them to feel they are part of a strong group as well.
Differences:
1. Victims. The victim of a bully is picked on verbally and or physically over and over again. The victim is constantly tormented often for no other purpose than the bully needs to feel his/her power over another who is weaker. The victim of a gang may be "bullied"in this way, but more often the purpose of this bullying (if it is constant) is to intimidate to stay away from territory, pay money, or some other criminal purpose. Many times the victim isn't even bullied at all. The victim could be a randomly selected person chosen to be killed or beaten in retaliation for something else against the gang, or the victim could be a completely unrelated innocent person "caught in the crossfire".
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